15. New birth

Ground floor, left of the reception, a daily hospital room.

Illustration by Hitoshi Miura

Ground floor, left of the reception, a daily hospital room.

The doctor soon came to speak with me about optimizing the three days I would be staying.

He asked me if by chance I spoke French, in this way we could have a private sound space. “Sure I speak French!” He did this to put me at ease.

“Let’s take a look at the schedule, it should be quite believable.”

Monitoring my heartbeat for 24 hours

Blood check-up including minerals and vitamins

Physiotherapy to stretch my numb muscle fibers

On top of that a counselor would help me making a personal schedule

He asked me about having visitors, I answered “Yes, I would love it”

That morning I did my best and wrote a card for Daisuke.       

“Good luck with your wonderful new adventure, congratulations to the mother too, sorry for not being around.”

Sia by Andrea Lenny

The doctor pierced my vein personally, I appreciated it. He suggested an infusion of minerals and vitamins that same day.

The first who came to visit was Taylor, my writing teacher. I used to stay at her flat on Monday night after the session. We were kind of friends, I guessed she was in love with me. I’m interested in masculine energy, even though she is a marvellous girl full of smart humour, I did not feel free enough for a love story.

The dance teacher, Australian, his name was Axel, also came “Don’t do silly tricks, I need you.”

He told me about his project of a dance-theatre group and that I could have been one of the assistants. Good news.

I could have taken private sessions with Taylor and danced with Axel, in that way I could definitely leave the school. Hisao entered in this moment and we stopped speaking.

I gave him the card I had written for Daisuke without saying a word.

He caressed my hands and legs “I will spend more time with you sister.”

Since the beginning we’ve had a special confidence, I knew we loved each other and we were bound through the red ribbon.

In the afternoon Emi came with a box of Swiss chocolates she found in the best grocery store in Nagano. She had left her Blondie in their room alone and allowed herself more than an hour of highspeed train to come and see me. She touched my heart.

After dinner I saw the counselor, a nice sweet woman over fifty, inspiring kindness. We wrote out my weekly program on a sheet of paper.

Monday morning leave the Woodpecker house, two hours car ride, writing class with Taylor and remain at her flat for the night.

Tuesday dance session, then working with Luz at the civil protection agency, dinner and sleep at home.

Wednesday morning dance, then free, I normally spent the afternoon with Ama.

Thursday morning dance, in the afternoon at school with Luz and Akira, dinner with Akira’s family till late, sleep at home.

Friday morning a two hours car ride to the Woodpecker house where I would help Emi till Monday morning.

On average I slept in three different beds every week like a bohemian.

I was consciously leaving the Blue house for Ama and Hisao alone for half of the week.

She said “Maybe it would be better to simplify, sleep in only two beds, focus on two activities, just for the moment!” 

“And Daisuke, what is his place in my heart?”

I could have fallen in passionate love with him, but when I let him come near, there was always a new girl in his bed. 

Worrisome how systematically my sister was pushing me into his arms.

I loved the two of them, but I noticed, once when I was not at home, that someone had slept in my futon, I had found an unfamiliar bra under my pillow, it wasn’t correct.

The doctor came to say good night, he had my schedule in his hands and would have loved to discuss it with Ama, I drew a heart on the paper.

The next day capable hands touched my muscles for hours, a heavenly experience. Meanwhile I recognised voices in the hallway and asked to put a card on the door “no visitors”.